How many times has this happened to you? You say something that you think is very clear and the person you’re talking to completely misunderstands you. Sometimes it is humorous like when you order "French fries" and the cashier hears "fresh flies." But there are those times when it’s not so humorous. Perhaps you were trying to say, "I can’t play with you today but we can play tomorrow." But all the other person hears before storming out the door is, "I can’t play with you."

Or maybe you have poured out your feelings and ideas to someone – expressing something that is really important to you – and you get no response. Or maybe they nod their head and it seems like they are hearing what you’re saying but then they go on and continue to do those same things that you said were bothering you! You feel like you haven’t been heard. You weren’t listened to. Or worse yet that they heard what you said and didn’t care.

Or maybe you’ve been on the other end. Maybe you’ve been half-listening to what someone is saying but were mainly concerned with coming up with your rebuttal. My high school English teacher, Mr. Hill had a question printed on a piece of poster board and hung on his lectern at the front of the class. In big bold letters, it read, "Are you listening or waiting to talk?"

I’ve done it more times than I care to admit. I’ve seen someone who I know has certain political or theological views begin to talk and I begin to think of how I would combat the argument that they are putting forth. After all, I think that I know what that person is going to say because I’ve already put them in the correct identifying box. I have been so concerned with finding ways to convince others that I am right and the others are wrong that I haven’t heard what the other person is saying. I have been surprised many times that when I have listened, we agree more than we disagree. Common ground is not as hard to find and I had originally thought.

In the Old Testament the Hebrew people had what they called the "Shema." This was a phrase that was of utmost importance to the Hebrew people. They were to say it when they woke up and when they went to sleep. They were to post it on the doorposts of their house so that they would encounter it every time they entered or exited. The adult Sunday school class just studied it last week.

You can find it in Deuteronomy 6:4. It reads, "Hear, O Israel, the Lord your God is Lord alone." It is from that first word "hear" that the Shema takes its name. Shema in Hebrew means "to hear" or even better "to listen." So the first word of the greatest commandment that Moses give the people is "listen."

We can hear echoes of this commandment in James’ admonitions. "Listen," James pleads with his readers. Not only listen passively as though your neighbor’s talking is background music in a restaurant, barely noticeable to most. But listen, truly listen to what each other is saying. "Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger." Don’t just listen when you have time or when it is convenient but be quick to listen.

More times than I care to admit, words have come stumbling out of my mouth that after hearing them, I so wished I could stuff them back inside and sew up my lips. Words spoken in anger or frustration. Words intended to make me feel better my wounding my neighbor. Words full of what I thought was razor sharp wit but were received like daggers. Have you even done that? Have you ever tried to retrieve those words that just stumbled out before you had really thought about them?

Let me tell you a story. Like in the television show Dragnet, the names and places have been changed to protect the innocent – and in this case the guilty as well. Sam loved his son very much. Sam had always tried to set a good example for his son. But one day, Sam got a phone call from the principal. Sam’s son had been in a fight at school. Sam got in his car and went to pick up his son. In the car on the ride home, as Sam kept his eyes firmly on the road ahead of him, he muttered, "I just don’t know where I went wrong. You’re no kid of mine today."

As he nursed his bloody nose, Sam’s son heard those hurtful words and they cut him like a knife. Sam saw the tears roll down his son’s face and wanted so badly to grab those words out of the air and stuff them back inside. But it was too late. Those words were out there now. Years later when Sam’s son had a kid of his own, he called up his dad and said, "You know, dad, those words you said when I was growing up really hurt. My child will always be mine – no matter what she does. I know you didn’t really mean those words, but I’m still trying to get over them."

Words have power. The saying, "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me" is just plain wrong. Words can wound where no amount of scar tissue can heal. Perhaps those of us who have been wounded by words would have much preferred if the person had thrown a stone instead, then at least we would have a physical wound to nurse.

There is an old story that has been passed down from generation to generation. It is told in many different forms but I heard it in the form that was featured in the recent movie "Doubt."

A woman comes into church and confesses her sins to the priest. She says, "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. I have committed the sin of gossip." The priest advises her to go home, take a pillow from her bed, go up to the roof of her apartment complex and rip open the pillow. So the woman goes home and does as the priest says. As she rips open the pillow up there on the rooftop, a wind comes along and blows the feathers off the roof and all over the city.

Once all of the feathers are gone, the woman goes back to the priest. "I have done what you have asked, Father."

"Very well, my child," responds the priest. "Now go and pick up all of the feathers from the pillow."

"But, Father, I can’t. The wind has taken them. What you’re asking me to do is impossible. The feathers have been spread out everywhere in the city. I can never get them back."

After a short pause the priest looks at the woman and says, "That, my child, is gossip."

I can only think that James would agree with this story. We could end here with this talk about the importance of listening and being slow to speak but James didn’t end here. He didn’t stop his instructions to his readers with "Be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to anger." He went on. For James it was not enough that the people listen to each other and to God’s word – there must be a response to that listening. James implores his readers to be "doers of the word and not merely hearers."

For James, being "slow to speak" doesn’t mean that we should not speak. Being "slow to anger" does not mean that anger does not have its place. If we simply listen and nod our heads when we hear God’s word then we are no better off than if we were to speak without thinking or fly off the handle at the slightest provocation.

Listening without doing is not an option. It is what we do after we have listened that makes us disciples. Being a disciple of Jesus or as many prefer to call themselves nowadays, a follower of Jesus, doesn’t mean that we simply look at a checklist of doctrines and say "yes" to them.

If we say, "I believe that Jesus Christ is my Lord and Savior" but turn away from our neighbor in need, then we would be hard pressed to call ourselves Christians. If we say, "I believe in God the Father almighty, Maker of heaven and earth" but fail to see our place in caring for that earth, then we are hard pressed to call ourselves Christians. If we say, "I believe in the forgiveness of sins" but fail to forgive others and seek forgiveness for ourselves, then we are hard pressed to call ourselves Christians.

So, "be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger" but also embody what you hear. If we truly listen and hear God’s word, if we take God’s word into us, then nothing can stop us from acting upon that word. If God’s word lives within us then our actions will embody God’s word for us and for our neighbors.

It’s not easy and sometimes we will fail. Sometimes words will come out of our mouths before we can listen. Sometimes anger will rise in our hearts before we can hear the other person. But if we strive to nurture God’s word living within us, then more and more our actions will match our confessions. Maybe we can’t gather all the feathers or gossip or ill will that have flown from our torn pillows but maybe we can gather the feathers we do see and help others to mend.